Friday after prejudging

Dear Friends and Fans,

Well the judging is over. I guess I'll start with yesterday, weigh-ins. i just slid in at 135, when Debbie b and Mahann were running around trying to lose a pound to get in the class. good for both of them... I'm positive they both placed above me. I FELT PRETTY GOOD WITH THE WAY I LOOKED AND MY CONDITIONING. I WAS UP PRETTY EARLY this am; I had to meet big Mary at 6:30 for a touch up. Everyone was great back stage. We are all friends and help and encourage each other which is really nice, it makes it sooo much better. I had a weird feeling while I was back stage. I haven't felt this way since 2003 USA. I'm standing around wondering how these other women are the same height and weight than me, but look so much bigger. It's weird. I look like a string bean, and they look like kidney beans. What is it????? Well, guess what??? It's my legs!!! My legs have come up so much, and I have been working my ass off on them, BUT when I'm next 2 people who don't have a leg weakness; IT shows!!! While back stage my dear friend, fellow 2003 jr.nat champ, Jimmy Canyon was back stage pumping my head up. I was wondering why he kept calling to me and telling me how good I looked. he said you got "symmetry" baby show it!!! I told him I didn't feel confident, I'm not use to this feeling, he said I can see it in your eyes that's why I'm here!!! Get that out of your head and show your symmetry. I knew then that it just wasn't the time for me. I did my best and haven't seen pixs yet, but to me I still think the best yet, for me!!!

On stage... things were great, as in stood in the middle, the place you want to be. The judges moved us through the mandatories and then switched me and Mahann putting her in the middle. She looked amazing... very complete.. they ran us through poses again and then opps moved me again with Debbie B., on the END, the worst place to be. I dealt with it, at least I was in the first call outs right. After the second call outs, they called me out again with a couple others.. I was thinking what is this?? I thought maybe good till I realized what was happening.. they were now comparing me with the lower placers.. meaning that I most likely got 4th or 5th. Reality had sat in already earlier when I was moved to the end... so this I dealt with and in a much better way than I did at the JAN Tana. When I got off stage I immediately went for a diet Dr. Pepper. I hadn't had anything to drink for almost a day.... boy it was good. I want to drink everything in site.... but I do still have to go back tonight to show off for fans so want to avoid the water buffalo look!lol. While packing my stuff backstage I was thinking of all the people I blew off and was not myself too, all the surfacey responses people got from me... all the guilt started to set in, and I thought all of that for this!!!! If I won it would have been worth not being myself for many weeks.. but to not and now look back.. I apologize to all those I may of hurt during my prep.. You KNOW.. it's not the best feeling not being #1, but one good feeling I can get out of this is that being an athlete is accepting the fact that your not always going to be #1, BUT DO THE BEST YOU CAN and hope your #1 most of the time..lol.. and be happy for the ones who did win! I'm feeling better. It takes a bit to get over. I don't feel like I got ripped off or shafted.. I see what it is.. and saw it back stage before we got on stage. I have to go back tonight and do my routine and get our placings. I will eat and party the rest of the weekend. Saturday I work the MHP booth for a bit and mingle with fans... then dessert bar and more after party partying!!! I have a shoot Sunday with Jerrol Figg before I leave on Sunday, and then back to work on Monday.

My plans for the future in regards to Bodybuilding are this... LEGS!!!! I'll go see Charles and workout something for our off season. I'll take a year off and probably come back to the Europa and hope to make the improvements. I plan to have a good time this weekend and then back to the grind stone.. and pull my practice together. I'm happy!!!! I can't wait to go mingle with fans and get their energy. Thank you all for your support. I can still get better, THAt'S THE GOOD PART.

Your Pro,

Dr. Dena

P.S. Note from my support team, thanks Joel, it is always good to remember that placing top 4 in a show puts you in the Top 20 of all competitors who you share this sport with.....I sometimes forget this..I am proud of myself and hope you are all proud of me!!

P.P.S. This is a pic from today before prejudging..and one from yesterday's weighin.